Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Ugly girls

I suppose I should first say that I really was fighting hard to not want to post this as I know it’s somewhat terrible-see conversation below- but the amazing anonymity it presents (for you, not me) and the sociological ramifications thereof are just too much too handle. Moving forward now with my decision I should also mention that before coffee on the drive to work I tend to be a bit cranky, I consider it a form of withdrawal and thus it minimizes my personal responsibility for my actions. It’s not that I actually think anything that you’re about to read, it’s that I was merely the catalyst and bearing witness to this fell into my lap- a form of playing Devil’s Advocate. So I’m doing this for science.

So on the road this morning I saw 3 if not 4 unattractive young ladies wearing those giant Hollywood-esque sunglasses that are so popular currently and have been for the past few years and they had that “bitch I’m hot shit look on their face.” And it bothered me, it could have been the lack of coffee the fact that we’re in Cleveland, one of the least glamorous cities in the country, or that my equivalent would be wearing Affliction t-shirts, Chanel or Armani Exchange dogtags, getting shitty tribal tattoos and pretending to be an ultimate fighter, like some sort of godamned clubland Braveheart without actually having to fight…ever. After the third occurrence I reached for my phone and impulsively as well as compulsively (I know the difference, thanks) texted approximately 13 guys:

“Yo I HATE ugly girls jumping on the fashion bandwagon and wearing giant Hollywood shades, like that makes them hot shit”
and throughout the day today have received the following responses (anonymity enforced to protect the guilty):

No less than 4 identical responses from different people “I hate ugly girls”

“It doesn’t. Big glasses hide ugly faces. Misplace your hand on her skank face with force”

“hahahahaha I really hate ugly girls”

“ugh, I hate that too”

“haha yeah sunglasses are reserved for hot girls and they are tricking me otherwise. I do love a chick with some shades on though”

“You cant tell what they look like because of the shades. Just like fat chicks with the leis in their car window. You look and are pissed a fat chick is driving”

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