Friday, February 20, 2009

Worst blowjob ever

Anonymous Public : worst blowjob ever lastnight

Friend : ohohh yeah i saw, she bite?

Anonymous Public: no, her hand and mouth felt the same! How is that physiologically possible?

Friend : hahaha what??? like she had blisters, or dry mouth?? how can her mouth and hand feel the same?? sweaty hands??

Anonymous Public: dry mouth. like she was jerking me off for a sec and it was bad and awkward as a handjob tends to be and then she went down and started sucking and there was no difference

Friend : oohh man, thats doesnt suck...

Friend : hahah get it…im awesome

Anonymous Public: i wonder if she pulled some Criss Angel illusion shit and actuallynever put her mouth on it and then saved up saliva as cum and spit it into her empty smoothie cup...
Friend : she didnt swollow either?? ohh man, terrible!!

Anonymous Public: no. I dont mind a spitter especially if they're resourceful. i thought it was funny when she spit it into her smoothie cup

Friend: jajajaja, well it was a smothie then

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

This has all just been revelry

Anonymous Public: if i were capable of friendliness without sex being a motivation, my life might be easier or more pleasant or something

Friend:or less likely to lead straight to hell.

Anonymous Public: that's been a given since i burned a bible at 18. This has just been revelry cuz the why fuck not when the plane's going down..

Friday, January 2, 2009


As my new year’s eve “date” and I have only known each other a week, our first kiss was a New Year’s kiss, and I’m obviously a gentlemen, I told her at 2:30 I had to go and didn’t push idea of “after hours” at my place or any other bullshit and promptly met up with an old fuck-buddy who had called me around 1:30 asking if she could crash at my place.

Mid sex I told her I had syphilis and she got freaked out. Her being freaked out made me laugh so much that I told her I HAD to text my guy friends about it because it was so funny. Then, I texted about 8 of them right in front of her about it.